ADULT VIDEO

I walk across the gravel crunching beneath my feet to the Adult Video flashing above me. It doesn't need something like Paradise Adult Video or Sweet Dreams Adult Video to entice customers. Adult Video suffices. It's like the word "fuck". There is no need for adornment. "And then he fucked me," Fabiola would tell me at the conclusion of her stories. Nothing reduces our stature as individuals quite like knowing that others have preceded us and that others will follow us into the most imitate, and dare I say, sacred of places. "I'm very comfortable with my sexuality," Fabiola has told me on other occasions, which communicates to me that she had no qualms about screwing whomever excited her and that she felt no guilt afterwards. "I'm very comfortable with my sexuality" means she can fuck anyone, anytime, anywhere and lose her mind with a stranger who has absolute freedom to explore her body as they grope in mutual pleasure until he deposits his load in her. I enter the video shop. A no-smoking sign captures my attention. Vice has its limits. The well-lit room is no different than a magazine shop with shelves against the walls and along the aisles. There is a long, glass counter that runs the length of the room's right side. "Good evening, sir," says a middle-aged woman wearing a black cocktail dress. "Is there anything I can do for you?" "No thank-you." "If you need anything, I'm here." The room is empty. At the far end on opposite sides are two signs: "Public screenings" and "Private screenings". Where has Estanislao disappeared. It has been ages since I've stepped into an adult video. I like the real thing. I'm sure many desperate men come here looking for the real thing and end up masturbating some guy sitting next to them in the public screening theatre. There is the thrill of a private cubicle with a variety of pornographic shorts long enough and stimulating enough to last until one ejaculates. Then it's head down, a beeline to the car and home. I wish I could live in a permanent post-ejaculation state where desire has been appeased and is not demanding gratification. Estanislao is nowhere to be found. I don't think he would enter the theatre because he would become paranoid with a male crowd casting glances his way, a penitentiary mentality reigning among the customers hungry for a strange hand to clutch their penises, female preferably but male if there aren't any alternatives. He might be in the individual booths to test the waters, but I'm not going to look for him there. I'm studying the paraphernalia beneath the glass case when I spot Estanislao leaving the bathroom. "You could have beaten off in the private cubicles instead of the bathroom stall," I say. "Fuck off, asshole. I was taking one of the most satisfying and time-consuming shits of my life praying that you wouldn't take too long. This goddamn place gives me the creeps." "I never saw you as an anti-porn person." "I'm not anti-porn. I'm anti-pervert. I prefer the privacy of my home rather than the public spectacle of this place. I can't relax. You're either in the spotlight where every Tom, Dick and Harry can see you or you're in a dark enclosure with the feeling that perverts are breathing down your neck waiting for the okay." "Sex is a sickness. You have every right to feel jittery." We commence our return to Brownsville. "How was it?" "If you would get your fill in the video shop, you wouldn't have to depend on me for your cheap thrills." "Cut to the chase." "I had the best blowjob of my life today. It was totally unexpected, but these are the benefits when you stay in the game. You never know when it's going to be your lucky day." "You're kidding?" "I'm not. She's a new girl, ugly as sin, but you know that I can never resist a strange pussy to explore with my finger, and if I'm not careful, further exploration with my pecker." "Did she get right down and start sucking your dick?" "Basically. She was on the rag and wanted to divert my attention from forcing my hands into her panties. But she had a talent that I never suspected. She inhaled me. She must have had an ex who demanded blowjobs. She had perfected the art." "Did you come in her mouth?" "I came on her face. I can't remember the last time I unloaded a wad all over a woman's face. I came on her mouth, her nose and her forehead. It was nasty. I'll give her credit, though. She was smiling the whole time. In her ignorant, ugly way, she did her best to please me. I told her the next time that I was going to come in her cunt and she appeared agreeable to the idea. The next time, though, she may have learned the ropes and will demand more money although she is too repulsive to demand too much. The thought of sticking my dick in her pussy makes me sick, but I'm helpless in certain situations." "How old was she?" "She said she was 24, but she looked closer to 30. She was shopworn except she hadn't missed too many meals." "What did it cost you?" "The usual $30 at the door and $50 for a tip." "Think about the things you could have bought for your children." "If it weren't for these bitches providing their valuable services, my children might not have a father returning home every night."